Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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