I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
