Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
PANTIES FOUND
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