Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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