i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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