he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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