you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
