that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
