Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
