I'm really into asian looking animals
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are we still banned from the library?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
