So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
