she smelled like a LAN party
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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