hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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