READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
