We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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