my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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