She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
