Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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