Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
