is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will be naked everywhere
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
