So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
