dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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