You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cockslap morals
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
