oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
