I have demons in me.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
