he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
