dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
