what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
