So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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