uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
