Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
