Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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