I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
