So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
