If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
