they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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