R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
