Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
