have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
