A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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