I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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