She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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