wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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