dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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