Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
