I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
