There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
