tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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