HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
