Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Who put my cat in the fridge?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
