If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
