She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
