guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
